


The Five Times Sonny Asked Rafael to Sing And The One Time He Didn't

by SincerelyLeah



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 5+1 Things, A bit of smut too, Fluff, M/M, Rafael sings bc I can't find any fics of it, a bit of angst, this is hella soft, this is just cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 11:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20007478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyLeah/pseuds/SincerelyLeah
Summary: Rafael has a beautiful voice and from the moment Sonny hears it, he's smitten.





	The Five Times Sonny Asked Rafael to Sing And The One Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> I literally couldn't find any Barba sings fics and I found that v sad. so I had to write this bad boy myself. a little bit of smut, a little bit of angst, a whole lot of fluff.

Sonny manages to catch the elevator before it closes, having a bit of trouble with the plethora of items in his hands. He has three coffees in a cardboard tray in one hand and a box of cannolis in the other. He silently thanks God for his choice earlier this morning to go with his messenger bag instead of a briefcase. Therefore, all of his case files and other loose papers comfortably sits in the bag on his shoulder. 

He’s here to meet Barba, they have a case to go over before trial starts on Monday, the man agreed to have Sonny shadow him and Sonny is not going to fuck this up. The elevator dings open and Sonny’s legs take long strides over towards Carmen, the trusty secretary busying herself with paperwork it seems. 

“Carmen,” he calls, the woman looks up and smiles, “brought you some coffee and cannoli,” 

“Score,” she whispers to herself but Sonny hears it, he lets out a chuckle and places the box of cannolis on her desk, she picks up one and takes the coffee with a ‘C’ on it. “You’re the best, Mr. Barba is in his office,” 

Sonny nods and gives her a thank you, he recollects the rest of the goodies and balances the coffee tray on top of the white box. He goes to knock on the door out of respect and habit before he finds himself stopping. 

_“Hey, Jude,”_

Sonny wouldn’t have heard it if he weren’t paying attention, but the sudden speech caught him off guard. The note was held beautifully.

_“don’t make it bad, take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into her heart, then you can start to make it better,”_

Sonny almost couldn’t believe it, Rafael “I Don’t Take Shit From Anybody” Barba was singing a hit rock song from the sixties in such a wholesome voice. Sonny never heard Barba sing, hell, he never heard the man say anything that wasn’t an insult or a threat, but now, hearing that voice, in that tone, he cannot unhear it. 

_“Hey Jude, don’t be afraid, you were made to go out and get her,”_

Sonny can feel his cheeks heat up, a blush blooming over his pale face. A part of him feels weird that he’s listening to Barba without his knowledge, but another part of him doesn’t want the man to stop and if he were to make his presence known; the man will stop. 

_“The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better,”_

But the shame begins to grow, he opens the door into Barba’s office and the man was so occupied with his song he didn’t even notice. He was about to start the bridge and Sonny hates himself for putting that beautiful voice to a stop. 

He closes the door. 

The sound makes Barba jump, he turns and a very angry, “Carisi!” comes out of his mouth, “How- Did- What are you doing here?” 

Barba’s face turns a pretty shade of pink. Sonny finds himself liking it. 

“I-uhh, the-the trial, we had a date- uh a study meeting, to go over the case, I’m shadowing you and all,” Sonny feels the blood boil in his cheeks and makes its way towards his ears. “I-uhh brought you coffee and cannolis,” 

Barba’s face follows the three consecutive emotions: confusion, understanding, and then back to anger. “How long were you out there?” 

“Uh- not that long-” 

“Carisi,”

“Okay, fine, I’m sorry, I know it was wrong of me to listen in without your knowledge, it’s just- you voice,” Sonny placed the box of cannolis and coffee down, his had runs through his hair as he doesn’t make eye contact with the A.D.A in front of him. “It’s good, nice, cool,” 

Sonny mentally curses at himself.

“Oh- uh,” wow, a flustered Barba, Sonny didn’t know it was possible. “Thank you, Detective,” 

There was something very interesting about the carpet below them because both men were staring at it intensely. However, before Sonny’s brain can catch up with his mouth, Sonny asks, “Can you finish it?” 

The question surprises them both, “E-Excuse me?” Barba asks, incredulous of what he just heard. Sonny can’t blame him, but he’s already got one foot in the grave. 

“Can you finish it? Th-the song, I wasn’t lying, you have a good voice,” Sonny finally tears his eyes away from the carpet and gives Barba a sheepish smile. The man’s mouth is agape and his eyes dart back and forth, searching for a response. 

“Really?” is all that left his mouth. 

“C’ mon Barba, you know I wouldn’t embarrass myself by asking twice if I didn’t,” Sonny plays with the cuff of his sleeve, “It’s a good song, my Ma would put it on every Saturday even though it meant cleaning day, I- it brought back good memories,” 

“I-I don’t know, Carisi-” 

“Please Barba?” Sonny puts on his best puppy dog face as the squad likes to call it, “I brought you your favorite coffee, a-and cannolis!” 

Both men let out a chuckle, the tension in the room finally decreasing, Barba looked at his face and couldn’t fight off the growing smile, “Don’t use your puppy dog eyes on me, Detective,” 

“Well? Is it working?”

“It is,” Barba tsked, shaking his head, he points an accusing finger at Sonny, “you’re buying dinner,” 

“You have my word, Counselor,” Sonny pulls out his pinky finger and winked at him. 

Barba walks over to Sonny and the Detective can hear his heart thump fast, Barba tilts his head up and finally the two lock eyes. 

“If you tell anyone, Rollins, Liv, or even your fish, I will sue you for everything you own,” 

Sonny bites his lower lip, “Yes, Counselor,” 

The rest of the night follows them both singing ‘Na Na Na Na’ and eating take out. 

/-/

Sonny smiles, today has been a good, quiet day, no tragedies, no horrific scenes, only boring paperwork. Liv let everyone leave early due to the slow day and Sonny knows for a fact Barba has the day off and is currently lounging in his apartment. Ever since that night where he had first walked into Singing Barba, the two had grown closer. The night had ended with the both of them tipsy and trying to get into the other’s pants. And despite the late-night that event took place in, Sonny still feels apologetic to whoever might have heard them. 

That had been two months ago and the trend had followed ever since, Sonny doesn’t exactly know what to call them, because it’s the ‘lets-have-fun’ kind of sex not the ‘I-have-serious-deep-rooted-feelings-for-you’ kind of sex. Despite their romantic moments, like yesterday, Sonny invited Barba to his apartment with the promise of red wine, a home-cooked meal, and shitty movies, which had ultimately led to sex. 

And Barba staying over. 

Sonny left him with a promise of coming back and permission to go around the house as he pleases, as well for a kiss. He still remembers the kiss, it had him blushing until he hit the precinct, it wasn’t like their tipsy-fueled kisses or ‘I’m horny’ kisses, it was tender, sweet, romantic. 

And it left Sonny with a lot of fucking questions. 

But for now, he dismisses his wild thoughts, with a bag of Barba’s favorite Cuban food and a bottle of scotch, Sonny makes his way towards his apartment. He opens the door and locks it behind him, he hears the shower running and a mischievous smile blooms. Sonny places the bag down on the kitchen’s counter and makes his way towards his bathroom door. 

He starts to undress when he hears it, the voice under the sounds of water hitting the ground. 

_“So many times, it happens too fast, you trade your passion for glory!”_

Sonny stops mid-stripping, he cannot believe he stumbled onto his voice again, it’s different than before, more power in his voice as he sings. He also holds the notes longer, they don’t falter under the length of the note. 

_“Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive,”_

Sonny’s mouth opens in realization, suddenly embarrassed with himself that it took him a few to realize the song, Eye of The Tiger, Sonny has to chuckle. He had guessed Barba took an inkling towards rock due to his first performance, but this was unexpected. Sonny finishes taking off the rest of his clothes, leaving him in his birthday suit. He quietly opens the door.  


_“It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, risin' up to the challenge of our rival!”_

Sonny momentarily wonders what provoked the A.D.A to sing this song, but the thought doesn’t stay long, Sonny finds it almost unfair how simply beautiful Barba’s voice is. Thanks to their latest escapades, he’s gotten to hear more than the sarcastic wit and threats, and Sonny can say, Barba’s voice is purely divine. The Detective doesn’t know which he likes more, Barba’s husky, deep voice, like he’s representing with the song right now, or his soft, subtle voice like the one he used while singing Hey Jude. 

_“And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger!”_

Sonny decides both is good. Both are amazing. He then closes the door behind him. And like deja-vu, he gets the same response. 

“Carisi?!” Barba asks, the shower curtain gets pulled back and Barba’s head pokes out, Sonny forgets his train of thought in favor of tracing the water droplets running from the man’s face and the black hair matted to his forehead. 

“Heya Counselor,” Sonny says, a bit more confident than last time. 

“Wh-What are you doing here?” it takes all his years of police work to not laugh in Barba’s face, however, Barba takes notice of his question and groans, averting his eyes. 

“It is my shower, Counselor,” 

“You know what I meant, Detective,” 

Sonny had to laugh, he walks towards Barba and pucks his lips for a kiss, only to be denied with an angry finger pressed onto his pink lips. “Answer me,” 

Sonny sighs, “It was a slow day at the precinct, Liv let us go early,” he says once the finger is removed. 

Barba hums, “And I assumed you already heard some of my live-action?” 

Sonny gives a bashful smile, “Maybe,” Sonny places a kiss on Barba’s lips, “you think I can join you now?” 

“Depends, are you going to ask me to continue?” Barba says but he makes room for Sonny to hop in anyways. 

“Yes,” Sonny says, his eyes close when he feels the hot water spraying his skin, Sonny’s hand went from Barba’s shoulder down to his waist, pulling the lawyer close to him. “But, I do bring your favorite Cuban take out with me and a bottle of scotch,” Sonny whispers, his lips press kisses onto Barba’s ear and down towards his neck. 

Barba groans, and whether it's from the ministrations or the mention of food, Sonny doesn’t know. “You make a hard bargain, Detective,” Barba shifts his head and catches Sonny’s lips in a soft kiss. It was like the one from earlier, it made Sonny freeze and his blush return. 

“U-uuh, what do you say, Counselor? You take the deal?” Sonny asks, once they part, he tries not to think about it as his hand presses circles onto Barba’s skin, the tips of his fingers ghosting the Cuban man’s cock. 

“I don’t think Eye of the Tiger is a song to get sexy with, Carisi,” Barba deflects, rubbing his ass against Sonny’s growing length. 

However, Sonny stands strong, he nibbles at the tip of Barba’s ear and runs his pointer finger down the man’s cock. “Hmm, I think I’d be the judge of that, c’ mon Barba, please,” Sonny plays dirty, he grabs at Barba’s cock, making the man gasps and lull his head back. “Ya gonna make me beg, Counselor?” Sonny knows his accent became thick with that last sentence, Barba takes note on it too as the little whimper escapes his mouth. 

“Y-you have quite the fetish, Detective,” Barba says through tiny breaths, his hips thrust up to chase Sonny’s hand. 

Sonny nuzzles into his neck, biting at the flesh, “Ya gonna give in or what? Lemme hear you, your voice is so beautiful,” Sonny’s hand gives a firm pump to Barba’s erection, “I promise to make it worth your while,” 

Sonny knows Barba is amused, and despite denying it, he appreciates the attention. So Barba leans against Sonny’s solid frame and relaxes. The hot water and teasing sensations made the man pliant. 

_“Face to face, out in the heat, hangin' tough, stayin' hungry!”_

/-/

Sonny checks, once, twice, and even a third time, he can’t believe what he sees. 

“I-I passed the bar,” he says, it was supposed to be for himself but Amanda overhears, he is at the precinct. She makes an amused hum, turning her attention towards him, Fin takes an interest too and Sonny couldn’t help the overwhelming excitement. He laughs and looks up at Amanda, “I passed the bar! I’m a lawyer!” 

Amanda gets up and gives him a hug and congratulations, Fin also gives his congrats. Liv walks in just at that moment, “What’s all the celebration about?” she asks, a smile already growing on her face. 

“I passed the bar,” he tells again, it still feels so surreal, Liv’s smile grows, she pats Sonny on the back and gives her praise. 

They are soon bombarded with a case so a time to fully celebrate has to be postponed. However, when his head wasn’t occupied with victims, Sonny finds himself reflecting on this thing he had with Barba. 

Barba. 

It’s been nine months of them screwing around, Sonny at Barba’s place, Barba at Sonny’s place, it's to the point they have clothes, toothbrushes, and personal items at each other’s house. Late nights of just being, not sex, not shows to distract them from the now, but just them, Sonny laying on Barba’s lap while Barba runs his fingers through his hair. It was intimate. 

Sonny’s scared because Sonny fucked up. He caught feelings. 

It’s true, he did, and the Italian is so fucking confused. So far he’s managed to keep it professional. If that’s even a thing when it comes with sex with your co-worker. He makes sure he refers Barba as Barba, not Rafael, not Rafi. Barba, Counselor. He made sure he did that since the beginning of their adventures began. So he wouldn’t get close. 

Look how that turned out. 

Barba became everything Sonny wanted and more, at first, the man was all sardonic and curt. Now, with all the layers pulled back, the man was kind, compassionate, and all that bite was out of care for himself and others. Barba was like fire, hot, fiery, a temper that could scald, but he burns bright, protects what’s his, and brings warmth to those around. 

Yeah, he has it hard. Sonny sighs, he plays with his pen and pokes at the notepad, there are no leads and Sonny needs a distraction before his thoughts consume him. Sonny spares a glance at his abused notepad and notices the random dot patterns, he wants to slap himself as the blue ink splats made a ‘B’. Sonny contemplates if he was a teenager or something and quickly scribbled out the evidence. 

Sonny wanted to talk about it, bring it up and ask Barba where they stood. But he fears that would mess up this balance they have. Because as of now, Barba is a friend and a lover. Plus, the sex was great. Sonny doesn’t want to lose any of that, all those late-night conversations, all those laughs shared, and soft kisses. God, those soft kisses, they shared a few more since that night he found Barba in the shower, and Sonny blames a good portion of these blooming feelings on them. 

But now, with his passing of the bar, Sonny feels like it’s time to come clean. Tell Barba and if anything finds closure. 

The clock ticks five and usually Sonny would stay and try to make some kind of dent in this case, but his head is troubled and he needs some clearance. He looks over at Amanda who is busy in her paperwork, at least one of them is doing something. 

“Amanda,” he says, grabbing her attention, “mind covering for me?” he asks, putting on his puppy dog eyes, might as well put them to use. She sighs but nods. 

“Fine, but you owe me a dinner,” 

Sonny grins, “Yeah, yeah, you’ll get your spaghetti, thanks,” Sonny grabs his things but notices Amanda’s glare still on him, her eyes twinkle with mischief. Sonny meets her glare with a confused one. 

Amanda laughs, “Have fun, Loverboy,” 

Sonny’s mouth opens in surprise, but closes quickly, his response dying on his tongue. He shakes his head and hides his blush, with that he walks away. 

It’s two hours later and Sonny convinced himself into something stupid, like ridiculously stupid. Like teenager stupid. But dammit. Dominick “Sonny” Carisi, Jr. is nothing if not stubborn. Sonny has until Barba’s office to talk himself out of this idea, but nope, he’s there, right behind Barba’s door and he opens it. 

“Detective?” Barba acknowledges. His eyes drift down towards the wooden basket. “What’s this?” 

“I-I know this is out of the blue, but I was wondering if I could steal you for a bit?” Sonny says, he can feel the embarrassment growing and his blue eyes can’t meet Barba’s hazel greens. 

"Carisi, I have work to get to, I’m sure you do too,” Barba tries to dismiss. 

“No, no, please?” Sonny finally looks up, he knows his puppy eyes are on full display. “Please, Rafael,” 

Barb- _Rafael_ seems taken aback by the use of his first name, he stays quiet and bites at his lower lip. “Fine, whatever is in that wooden basket better be worth it, I’ll have to take a case home with me,” 

As if he wasn’t in the first place. Nonetheless, Sonny felt his shoulders drop and loosen up. A smile danced on the tall man’s face. 

“Give me a minute, I need to finish up a bit here,” Rafael gestures towards his couch as an open invitation for Sonny to sit. Sonny takes it gladly. 

It takes Rafael a half an hour to finish up, checking in with Carmen and letting her go for the night and getting his paperwork in order. “Alright, let’s go Carisi,” 

Sonny’s smile falters, the use of his last name causes a pang in his chest, but he brushes it off. Sonny stands and takes his leave, Rafael following behind him locking up as they go. 

"Sorry,” Sonny apologizes, “for the suddenness,” 

Rafael waits until they’re alone in the elevator to respond, “I can always make time for you, Sonny,” and there goes that fire, filling him with warmth. 

It’s a nice day in New York, they’re in the middle of summer and the night brings a subtle coolness, but nothing too arctic. Sonny’s brilliant idea was a picnic, at eight pm, on a Friday. 

Sonny definitely became a teenager sometime between this morning and now. 

“A picnic?” Rafael inquires, looking up at Sonny, they’re walking up a mountain now, it wasn’t a steep slope but it was isolated enough for the two of them. Even if this plan was impromptu, the stars shine bright and the moon is at a beautiful crescent. 

“Too cheesy?” Sonny gives Rafael a soft smile and laughs when Rafael does. 

“Yeah, but that’s not the point,” Rafael grabs Sonny’s hand and that just solidifies what Sonny already knew. 

The night air is kind, it’s refreshing, and it helps keep Sonny’s anxieties at bay, the Detective busies himself by finally deeming a spot fit, placing down a blanket he brought and laying out the fresh cold-cuts, fruits, and wine. Sonny pats down a spot next to him and Rafael sits, they watch the stars for a good minute, just taking in the scenery. 

The two make their sandwiches in quiet and eat them just as so, the silence was peaceful and welcomed. Sonny felt content. 

“I-I,” he starts, Rafael turns at the noise and gives Sonny the attention, Sonny meets Rafael’s eyes and calms down, “I passed the bar,” it’s not what he wanted to say, but it’ll suffice for now.

Rafael’s smile is big, his teeth show and his eyes crinkle, “Really? On your first try? I’m proud of you, Sonny,” 

“Yeah, yeah, thanks, but a lot of it is because of you,” Sonny scratches his arm and the shy smile shows, “thank you, for everything, Rafael,” 

Rafael shakes his head, he grabs Sonny hand and holds it, “No Sonny, you did that, all by yourself, you need to give yourself more credit,” his thumb creates soft circles onto Sonny’s palm. “However, I don’t think all of this was to just tell me you passed the bar,” 

Sonny gives a nervous chuckle and squeezes Rafael’s hand, “Wow Counselor, ever thought of being a detective?” the joke was a deflect, they both knew it. Sonny sighs when Rafael just waits patiently for an actual response. “Okay, fine, no, you’re right Rafael, it’s been nine months since this whole thing started, and I-” Sonny hesitates, he doesn’t think he can meet Barb- Rafael’s soft stare. “I don’t know what to call this and I’ve been trying not to label it because we never had an actual conversation to discuss us,” 

Sonny bites on his lower lip, hard, but the pain helps him gather the courage to look at Rafael, the man’s expression is neutral, not mad, not uncomfortable, just soft. “Dammit Rafael, I love you, okay? I love how you get all defensive when we watch shitty courtroom shows, I love how you put your all into a case’s defense, I love how you try even when you don’t have to. Rafael, I love waking up next to you in the morning, watching as the morning light dances across your skin.” Sonny shakes his head, he can feel his heart pounding in his chest. 

“I don’t want to ruin what we have right now with these feelings, because you became too important for me to lose, and I tried, I tried to keep myself disconnected. Lie in wait for the day you ultimately decide you’re tired of this,” Sonny takes the risk, he disconnects their hands and moves his up towards the A.D.A’s face, cupping it. “But maybe, maybe you want to try and put a name on this as much as I do,” 

The two sit in silence after that, it’s heavy and tense, and Sonny is starting to regret everything. “O-Okay, I’m sorry, it-it’s fine, you don-” 

“Sonny, I don’t know what to say,” Rafael says, finally, his expression is worried but sincere. 

Sonny grins, he leans forward to rub his nose against Rafael’s, “Sing it then,” that emits a chuckle from both of them. “Humor me, Counselor,” 

“I would ask if you are serious, but by now, I know you are,” Rafael isn’t mad, or even annoyed. Sonny watches as Rafael takes a moment to think of a song and the Cuban hums when he finds one. With an exhale, Rafael readies himself, his eyes are a bit jumpy, not holding Sonny’s gaze for long. 

But there it goes, that soft silk voice fills his ears. 

_“Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you,”_

The emotion in Rafael’s voice is raw and he becomes a bit breathless when he says ‘you’, Sonny won’t admit it but the song choice made his eyes tear a bit. But the smile was there. 

_“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you,”_

Rafael becomes more confident in his voice, taking the liberty of reclaiming Sonny’s hand, with a loving glare Rafael places Sonny’s hand onto his chest, right on his heart. 

_“Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be,”_

Sonny can feel Rafael’s heartbeat and the moment feels too intense, too raw, too passionate. Rafael’s voice is just simply beautiful. Just like the rest of him.

_“Take my hand, take my whole life, too, for I can’t help falling in love with you,”_

Rafael closes to a stop and his eyes meet Sonny, a sheepish smile plastered on his lips. There are no words needed. Not anymore. 

Sonny kisses him. 

/-/

This case was supposed to be open and shut, they have all the evidence they need now all he and Amanda have to do is arrest this sonofabitch. Cameron Samuels had raped his roommate’s girlfriend after one night of her drinking heavily and then tried to pin it on his roommate, Andy Hammers. The girlfriend, Lisa Brown, had been a virgin before the assault and when she woke up feeling sore she went to the doctors to find she had tearing in her vagina. 

At first, the case did send the squad for a spin, not truly knowing which man it was until Lisa came into the precinct crying about having gonorrhea, Rafael got them the warrants they needed for an STI test for both males, successfully getting a match for Cameron. 

“Alright, Carisi, you and Rollins go arrest that bastard and bring him back,” Liv said, giving them the warrant for Cameron Samuels arrest, Carisi pockets it and follows Amanda out. 

Amanda drives and they arrive at the apartment rather quickly, Lisa’s been with a family member since the attack so only the two men should be there. Cameron was a tall man, he was taller than Sonny and obviously worked out, Andy was more lean and lanky than Cameron, reminding Sonny of himself, well, if he were shorter. 

They made it to the apartment door and Sonny was the one to knock, “Cameron Samuels, Andy Hammers, it’s Detective Carisi and Rollins, open up,” he says, however, there is no response. “We have a warrant for your arrest, we’re coming-” 

A loud bang shocked both Amanda and Sonny, but it causes Sonny to jump into action and charges inside the apartment. Carisi has his gun out and so does Amanda, they split, checking rooms for the two men. It wasn’t until he heard Amanda’s yell for him did Sonny lose his guard, quickly making it over to her. 

There was Andy Hammers bleeding body, “Call a bus,” Amanda says, trying to stop the bleeding that was coming from his stomach, his white shirt dyed red. Sonny pulls out his radio. 

“I need a bus at-” Sonny gasped, unable to finish his sentence, his eyes become unfocused as he holds his left side, Sonny falls to his knees. 

“Carisi?!” Amanda turns and Sonny assumes it’s Cameron Samuels standing behind him. But he’s losing too much blood and the knife is still embedded in his side. “Hands up!” Amanda cries, aiming her gun at Samuels, but Sonny doesn’t know what happens, all he hears is two shots ring out and a body thumping behind him. 

A hand cradles his face, “Stay with me, Sonny,” he can hear Amanda says, but her voice grows quieter as she calls for a bus. “Officer down, code 30, I need assistance,” 

Sonny tries to pay attention to Amanda’s voice, focus in on it and stay awake but it grows harder by the second, he can feel the knife, he can feel the blood, he can feel the darkness. 

Sonny suddenly becomes aware of a constant beeping and once he does a headache comes along, he lets out an audible groan and tries to sit up to stop whatever the fuck that noise was. 

“Woah, woah, woah,” he hears a voice say and a hand is placed on his chest, gently pushing him back down. “Slow down, Boy Wonder,” Sonny knows that voice and it confuses him instantly. 

“Rafi..?” he asks, why is Rafael here? Where is he? And what the fuck is that beeping? 

“Yeah, mi corazòn, it’s me, how are you feeling? Can you open your eyes for me?” Sonny feels Rafael hand on his, rubbing circles on his palm. 

Slowly his eyes crack open, it takes a moment to fully adjust to the light, but once he does, Sonny realizes he’s in a hospital. Well, at least he found out what was the beeping. 

“There’s my Detective,” Rafael says softly, Sonny moves his head and sees Rafael on a chair beside him. He looks haggard, clothes loose and eyes tired. “How are you feeling?” he asks again. 

“Like someone kicked my head and stomped on my side,” he groans out, he was feeling more pain than he was letting on but Rafael looks like he’s been through enough stress for the both of them. “What the hell happened?” 

Rafael sighs, he looks away from Sonny, “You were stabbed, Cameron Samuels, he stabbed you and it hit an artery, you lost a lot of blood and it was a bit of touch and go for a while,” Rafael has to clear his throat. Sonny wonders how long he’s been out, and as Rafael read his mind he tells him, “It’s been two days,” 

Sonny nods, he managed to crack a smile, “Tell me, Doctor, how bad is it?” he asks, in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood.

“It’s horrible, you’re going to live,” Rafael says without missing a beat. 

“Oh the misery,” Sonny says, but he laughs at the end, however, he doubles in pain. “Fuck,” 

“Take it easy, you had to get stitches,” Rafael warns, you can hear the worry in the man’s voice. “God you scared me,” he lets out, “they said you were bleeding internally, you were in surgery for quite some time. I came over here as soon as I got the call from Liv,” 

Sonny catches his breath and regains himself, “And let me guess, you’ve been here ever since?” Sonny tries to give the man a reassuring smile, but he’s pretty sure it looks pained more than anything. 

“Had Carmen push everything back,” Rafael kissed Sonny’s hand and continued to rub it with his thumb.

“Hmm, and you haven’t been taking care of yourself? When’s the last time you ate or slept more than two hours,” Sonny questions, he doesn’t have enough strength to keep his eyes open, but he’s awake. 

“I think you should be the last one talking,” Rafael says, Sonny can practically hear the eye-roll. “Besides, the Carisi-Klan is already here and your mother is keen on feeding everyone here her lasagna,” 

Sonny groaned, he loved his family but they could have their embarrassing moments, “Oh no,” 

“Yep, we have lunch and dinner for the next week,” and the sad thing is, Rafael’s probably true. Sonny’s mother can make a great but big lasagna. 

“How’s Amanda?” he asks out loud, finally remembering her calling his name over and over before passing out. 

“She’s alright, a bit shaken up, you know, Andy Hammers made it too, only that bastard Samuels died,” Sonny doesn’t know how he should feel about that but he nods, glad that at least Hammers is okay. 

“How long until I can leave?” 

“I don’t know about that, mi amor, the doctor has to check over you still,” Rafael checks his watch, “which I should call now that you’re up,” 

“Wait!” Sonny says, forcing his eyes open, “don’t get them right now, please, I don’t feel like being poked and prodded at,” 

Rafael pulls a face, “Sonny, mi sole, I have to-” 

“Please Rafi, just one favor before you do,” 

Rafael smiles and sits, looking over at Sonny, “Anything, mi amor,” 

Sonny catches Rafael’s eye, “Sing for me?” he hasn’t heard the man sing since they confessed their feelings and finally validated this thing they had by calling it a relationship. That was almost a year ago if Sonny remembers correctly. 

Rafael gives Sonny the look, the ‘are-you-serious’ look, “Please Rafi,” 

Rafael couldn’t even be angry or frustrated at him, it’s evident by the growing smile on Rafael’s lips, “What am I going to do with you?” Rafael takes back Sonny’s hand and places a soft kiss on the knuckles. 

“Hopefully sing for me,” 

Rafael chuckles, “Fine, any suggestions?” Sonny knew the man was drawing a blank, but if anything Sonny likes to hear Rafael’s gut instinct. 

“Nope, you’re on your own for this one, Counselor,” Sonny smiles, feeling his pain slowly dwindle. 

Now he sees the eye-roll Rafael gives him, however, after a moment, the man’s eyebrow rises at his thoughts. Sonny knows he found a song. With a glance around to make sure nobody would pry on this moment, Rafael starts. 

_“When you were here before, couldn’t look you in the eye. You’re just like an angel, your skin makes me cry,”_

Sonny realizes, even if he had given his song suggestion, it wouldn't feel as special it does now, it feels like it’s Rafael talking, showing his true emotions. Sonny breathes in the hospital air, it doesn’t feel like home, no, but he relaxes back on the bed and feels the tension from his shoulders leave. 

_“You float like a feather, in a beautiful world,”_

Rafael holds the note on ‘world’, and Sonny opens his eyes to see his lover again, he just looks so beautiful when he sings. They lock eyes.

_“And I wish I was special, you’re so fuckin’ special,”_

It’s moments like these, the moments Sonny will cherish and protect with his life. These intimate, raw moments, of Rafael giving Sonny his all, his true word, his deepest and sincere feelings. No wit to hide behind. 

_“But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here,”_

Rafael has such a nice voice to hide it so much. 

_“She’s running out again,”_

Sonny wonders how he got so lucky. 

_“Oh, she’s running out,”_

Rafael makes everything worth it, the long nights, the stabbing. Sonny wonders why he doesn’t ask Rafael to sing more, but he comes to realize. 

_“Running out,”_

They’re more special when it’s like this. 

_“Again,”_

/-/

Sonny’s nervous, so far he’s thought of twenty-five ways this evening can go wrong and which each passing second, his fear only increases. 

“Would you stop that?” Amanda grunts, swatting at Sonny’s hand to fix the tie he had messed up again. “I can see the smoke coming out through your ears,” she’s dressed in a beautiful purple dress. The sleeves are sheer and decorated with floral designs. She looks great. 

Unlike Sonny, his gray tuxedo and purple tie makes him look like a child, and as a child, he feels like he could scream. “That’s it, I’m canceling the wedding, I look like a dumpster fire,” 

Amanda groans, already hearing this for the fifth time today, “Oh shut up, you look great, Carisi, you need to stop fussing like a child and let me fix your hair,” 

Wedding, yes, Sonny and Rafael are engaged and if this day goes right, married. Sonny remembers when Rafael proposed, it was six months after he got stabbed by Samuels. It was nothing fancy, Rafael had suggested they take a stroll through the city, see the lights even though Christmas and New Years’ passed. 

Sonny had stopped them, there were lights still decorating a Christmas tree and he made a joke of already being in January. However, when he didn’t hear Rafael’s response, he turned over to the A.D.A to find the man on one knee, staring at Sonny like he was the lights on the overdue Christmas tree. 

“Dominick ‘Call Me Sonny’ Carisi, being with you has made me a better man than I was three years ago,” Sonny remembers the speech as if it happened last night. Sonny remembers his eyes watering up and the gasps he gave. 

Sonny remembers the, “Will you marry me?” he remembers how he practically sobbed out a yes. He remembers how he couldn’t stop staring at the silver band and remembers the beautiful night they had afterward. 

“Carisi!” Amanda tries but Sonny can’t focus his eyes on her just yet, his anxieties swallowing him. “Sonny!” this earns him a hit. 

“Wha-What?” So here Sonny stands, in the middle of a dressing room, worrying about how every little thing may go wrong, getting on Amanda’s last nerve, and trying to fix this damn tie. 

“You need to calm down,” Amanda has a blow dryer and a comb, she styles his hair to the side and it looks good, looks natural. “See, it’s not the end of the world,” 

“Yeah, you’re right, sorry Amanda,” he sighs and tries to relax, Amanda’s hands neaten his tie and smoothes out the crinkles of his jacket and undershirt. He sees himself in the mirror and smiles, “Okay, okay, great,” 

“You look great, Sonny, don’t worry, the cake is not on fire, there are no victims for us to save, and your tie is fine,” Amanda smiles and hugs him, “I’m happy for you, and remember, I will kick Barba’s ass today, tomorrow, and until the end of time if I have to,” 

They share a laugh and Sonny can feel his shoulders slump, there’s a knock on the door and Liv comes in. She’s in a gray dress, her hair is pinned up and he makeup looks amazing. “Everything is about to be ready, you’re on in five,” she says. “You look great, Carisi,” 

“Thanks, Lieu, a bit nervous, though,”

Amanda laughs, “A bit?” 

Olivia laughed, “You and Barba both,” she shook her head, “a match made in heaven,” 

She leaves without a second word, probably to tend to Rafael’s ramblings. “Better?” Amanda asks. 

“Yeah, better,” 

“Good, we’re out in ten,” 

Ten minutes felt like ten hours, therefore, allowing Sonny to fear over twenty-five more things that could happen. 

“Alright Sonny, it’s time,” Amanda finally says, re-entering the room, she fusses over a few last details but ultimately deems the man ready. “Deep breath, don’t pass out up there,” she jokes, but Sonny fears that he might. 

However the man nods and walks out, the garden is beautiful, Rafael made sure the color schemes were just right and he did an amazing job as always. Sonny hears the music starts to play as he walks and up until now he’s kept his focus away from the man on stage. Now, he can’t. 

Rafael is dressed in a purple tuxedo and a gray tie, his hair is slightly trimmed and pulled to the side, it’s slicked with gel. Rafael looks, in simple and redundant words, beautiful. 

Sonny wonders how he got so lucky. 

Sparing a glance at the audience, he sees the multitude of cameras on him by his family, the whole Carisi-Klan in full glory. On the other side, he sees Rafael’s mother, Fin, Nick, Tucker. He spots Jesse, Billie, Noah, and Mia, they’re all dressed up and despite the little ones making quite a fuss, Sonny found the picture-perfect. 

Sonny makes his way up on the stage, it’s a nice porcelain white, behind himself there stood Amanda, and two of his high school friends, Luke and Damien. Behind Rafael Liv, Rita, and Rafael’s Harvard friend Ronaldo stands. 

The scene is perfect and Sonny feels stupid for worrying so much. 

His priest, Father Johnson, is here, he hastily agreed to certify their wedding when Sonny asked. Rafael takes Sonny's hands and Sonny lets out a nervous chuckle, he can’t believe he’s here, that they’re here, at this moment. Surrounded by family, friends, love. 

Sonny loses himself all over again in Rafael’s eyes, he doesn’t hear Father Johnson asking for the rings until he hears the giggles. He tears his eyes away to see both Noah and Jesse, they each have one side of the pillow and they’re beaming happily. 

“Unca Rafa! Unca Sonny! Here ya go!” the two cheered, showing off the two silver rings. Everyone seems to laugh at the kids, obviously excited to have such a role. 

“Grazie bambini,” Sonny says, the two giggles louder. 

“Gentlemen, your vows,” Father Johnson says, gesturing to the rings. Rafael picks a ring up first. 

“With this ring, I solidify the promise to always be true and through that promise I give myself to you. I am no longer the man I was four years ago, the way you changed me for the better in such little time, still baffles me, the barriers I held up and fought to keep crumbled away due to your smile, your patience, your laugh. And I am forever grateful for the chance I was given, to share and to love, to hold and to keep. Usually, I know what to say in a room filled with people, but you showed me that it’s okay to keep quiet and enjoy the moment.” 

Rafael lets out a soft chuckle, he steps closer to Sonny and holds his hand in one and the ring with other. 

“Dominick, I love you even if this ring someday comes off, I will love you now and the tomorrows to come,” Rafael pushes the silver band onto Sonny’s ring finger, Sonny feels himself choke up. 

Sonny takes the other ring on the pillow, he fumbles with the silver band, it has his initials carved into it just like he has Rafael’s initials engraved on it. 

“With this ring, I pledge to give you my best self, even when I am at my worst. I vow to love you as you love me. Through all our hardships, darkness, and pain we will reach our joys, our happiness, our hopes with honesty and faith. It was through your passion, your fiery temper, and your ability to burn brighter than all that I found the constant cold in my chest filled and warmed, for you keep the flame alive in my heart. Our love is unique, and our love is what binds us together, and our love is the best thing I ever came across,” 

Sonny looks up at Rafael, the man couldn’t hide the smile if he tried, with one last fiddle with the ring, he holds Rafael’s hand. 

“Rafael, even if our worlds someday cease to exist, I promise to love until I possibly can’t,” Sonny pushes the ring onto his finger and holds his hand, Sonny’s eyes meet Rafael and it feels like the first time they looked at each other, with interest and amusement. 

“Rafael Barba, do you take Dominick Carisi to be you lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?” Father Johnson asks. 

Rafael squeezes Sonny’s hand, “I do,” 

“And do you Dominick Carisi take Rafael Barba to be you lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

“I do,” 

Words can’t describe the emotions Sonny feels right now. Perhaps that’s a good thing. 

“Therefore, I pronounce you husband and husband,” Father Johnson says, closing the book, “You may now kiss the groom,” 

Cheers erupted before they even kiss but they grow louder once they do. Sonny wouldn’t trade the world for this moment, the kiss wasn’t hard or smutty, it was passionate, hopeful to new beginnings. 

Once they part Rafael looks at him, grinning, “You holding out on me, Detective?” 

Sonny laughed, taking Rafael’s hand, “In your dreams, Counselor,” 

The wedding was amazing but the after-party, even better. The night was filled with stories, dances, laughs, hugs, congratulations and more. But it was nearing the end of the night, people had to go home and work in the morning, but there was time for one more dance. Sonny was quick to drag Rafael away from his fourth glass of wine and with a puppy dog please, they’re slow dancing just stepping back and forth, but it’s perfect. 

“You know what would make this moment even better?” Sonny asks, looking down at Rafael. 

“What is that, mi amor?” 

“Sing for me?” 

Rafael stops their slow movements, he bites at his lower lip and looks up Sonny, “What did I get myself into?” he asks, but Sonny already knows he’s going to do it. 

“Sing what you feel for me,” Sonny says, capturing his husband’s lips for a kiss. Ha! Husband. 

_“Today’s gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back at you,”_

He starts softly, only sharing the moment with them two. But he grows louder. 

_“By now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do,”_

Sonny’s surprised and he reckons so is everyone else since the room has gone quiet, even the music stops. But Rafael winks at him and smiles. And God, he falls in love all over again. 

_“I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now,”_

Rafael nudges at Sonny and suddenly they’re picking up their slow dance from earlier. 

_“Backbeat, the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out.I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt,”_

Rafael’s voice is the loudest he’s ever heard, and yet he still sounds so beautiful. He is so beautiful. 

_“I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now,”_

Sonny laughs and so does Rafael, Sonny pulls Rafael into a spin and their movements pick up. 

_“And all the roads we have to walk are winding and all the lights that lead us there are blinding,”_

They stop and Rafael looks at him like he’s everything important in the world and more. Rafael grabs his hand and thumbs at the silver band, staring at his initials. He looks up. 

_“There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how,”_

Rafael’s pulls Sonny’s hand against his chest, just like he did the night they both confessed. He holds Sonny’s hand there and stares into his blue eyes. 

_“Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me,”_

Sonny knows he’s found the right one, the perfect one for him. Because Sonny knows that at this moment alone, he has fallen in love with Rafael more times than he can count. 

_“And after all,”_

He’s suddenly grateful for embarrassing himself all that time ago by asking Rafael to continue singing. He has the voice of an angel. Which is ironic in more ways than one.

_“You're my wonder…,”_

Rafael smiles at Sonny, his hand leaving Sonny’s to cup his face, Rafael presses his nose against Sonny’s. 

_“... wall,”_

They kiss and he can hear everyone cheer for them once again. 

/-/

Sonny tussles with his hair. Today was a bad day. 

It started like any other regular day, Sonny would wake up first, leave kisses on Rafael’s neck and back, takes a shower and starts breakfast. Rafael would stumble behind him, groan about work, steals a slice of bacon and goes to shower and get ready. 

They eat with a soft discussion of what their day is going to be like, Sonny drives Rafael to the courtroom and parks himself at the precinct. 

It wasn’t until they got a case did things get messy. Sonny and Rafael promised that their work ethic wouldn’t change and for that much it was true. But Sonny goes home with the man, so even though they don’t show their anger at work, it is a different ballpark when they go home. It’s been a few times that they brought arguments about the way a case should go home with them, but they had been settled and always ended with a kiss.  


Sonny doesn’t think this one will. 

Sonny had gotten close to a case again, how couldn’t he? It was a kid’s sex trafficking ring, it was nothing like he’s ever seen before. So when SVU and SWAT raided the place and a male suspect took chase with a small child in hostage, he damn right made chase. He’s sure that someone noticed, they had to, he had yelled. 

However, it becomes sticky when Sonny follows the perp to an alleyway where he sees a getaway car at the end of it. 

“NYPD, stop!” Sonny pulls out his gun and shoots at the car’s tire, two men then jumped out and shooting began. Sonny curses to himself and he takes cover on the side of a dumpster. 

However, all Sonny can think about is that little girl, how she cried and how the man carelessly dragged her. He takes a moment and glances, aims his gun, and shoots, he hears one man goes down with a cry. He counts to three and then takes off, shooting at the other man that jumped out the car. He thankfully lands a hit and the man drops his car. He can’t see the third man but he hears cries from the car. He quickly opens the trunk and finds the girl, she’s crying profusely. 

“L-look out!” she cried. 

Sonny turns and a shot rings out before he can do anything, he feels the bullet hit him but the little girl is still there, she’s still watching. She’s still being traumatized. Sonny holds up his gun and takes a shot that luckily hits the man.

Sonny gasps and turns to see the girl crying, he falls and sits on the trunk and the girl cowards behind him. “It-it’s okay, you’re okay,” Sonny gets his radio. “I-I need-” he feels the blood pouring out again, but he hopes it’s nothing serious. It can’t be. “I need a bus and backup,” he gives his destination and makes sure the girl is okay. 

She’s okay. So he’s okay. 

A bus comes and it takes a bit for Sonny to disentangle himself for the small girl, but he promises to see her again and she reluctantly goes, not without making him pinky promise first. He smiles at her as he leaves, but he knows he has bigger problems as Liv and Amanda walked up to him. Obviously not happy. 

He’s sitting in the ambulance, the bullet was lodged in his shoulder and the EMTs says if it had an exit point, chances are, it would’ve hit the little girl. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” is the first thing that comes out of Liv’s mouth, but Sonny knows she’s biting back more. “You have a lot of paperwork to do,” is the other comment leaving her mouth. She starts to say something else but Rafael appears and he’s mad. 

“The hell were you thinking?!” the man asks, his eyes glaring deeper bullet holes than the one actually in his shoulder. “You ran? Without backup into an alleyway!” 

“I was saving a child,” 

“You were looking for a death wish!” 

“Are you seriously going to do this right now?” Sonny asks, thankful that the EMTs took a leave. 

“I get a text from Rollins saying that you’re not there and there’s a radio call for a bus? You followed an armed man, without backup into a dark alleyway where two more men showed up,” 

“I thought they heard me leave, it happened quickly Rafael, I saw him snatch her up and I gave chase. What? You wanted me to just sit there?” 

“You could have died,” 

“And so could had she,” 

Sonny was fuming and so was Rafael. 

“You’re reckless and what you did today was stupid,” Rafael’s voice was stern and his nose flared up. 

“You’re way out of line, Counselor,” 

“And so were you, Detective,” 

Liv’s hand was placed onto Rafael’s shoulder, “Rafa not-” 

“You know,” Rafael started, ignoring Liv, “just an inch closer that bullet would have lodged into your heart,” with that, he takes his leave. 

Sonny only then notices how Amanda and Fin were right there as well, who, of course, heard everything. Liv gives an apologetic look towards Sonny, “I’ll see you at the hospital,” she says and turns to go towards Rafael. 

A hand is placed on his shoulder, “We need to take you now,” a female EMT says and Sonny nods. 

The surgery goes well, it only takes two hours and he’s allowed to leave in the morning.  


Rafael comes in, he looks a bit more calm than earlier. “Sonny I’m-” 

“Rafael, I don’t want to hear it,” he says, shaking his head. He has the strength to sit up, unlike last time. “You know, I get that you’re mad, but in front of my squad? My lieutenant? And every-fuckin-body else?” 

“Sonny lay down please,” 

“How about you stop telling me what and what not to do,” Sonny bites back, he’s taken aback at how harsh it comes out but Sonny knows he’s not done being angry. 

“I’m sorry, I just-” 

“Just- not right now Rafael, I can get out of here in the morning and Liv’s already placed me on desk duty,”

“I can pick you up-” 

“No, I have things to do and so do you, one of them being paperwork,” Sonny stands, he grits out a fuck at the cold floor and the ache in his shoulder, Rafael stands immediately at this. 

“I’m fine,” Sonny walks over towards his clothes and pulls out his phone. 

“Sonny, let’s just talk about this please,” 

“I think we talked enough,” 

“You could have died, I was terrified!” 

“It comes with the job, Rafi, you know that, and besides whenever something like this happens we settle this at home. Not in front of other officers,” 

“And you’re right, I acted out of hand, just-” 

“Listen, it’s about to be five am and I want to be discharged already,” Sonny says, taking off the hospital gown and slipping on his NYPD hoodie he keeps in his car and throws on a pair of matching NYPD sweatpants. 

“Sonny please relax,” 

Sonny snaps his head up at Rafael, his eyes watering and he doesn’t know if it’s from rage or just pent up feelings. “Relax? Okay, sure Counselor, are we done here?”  


“N-No, Jesus, Sonny,” Rafael walks up over to him and takes his hand, “Listen, I’ll take the day off, I’m sure Liv’s not going to let you in right now either, let’s just go home and talk about this, please,” 

Sonny sighs and shakes his head, he squeezes Rafael’s hand, “I have something to do,” he drops Rafael’s hand and puts on his shoes. Rafael follows him out of the room and towards the receptionist. “I’d like to be discharged now, please, Dominick Carisi-Barba,” the woman nods and checks over the paper. 

“Are you taking him home? He should be supervised and given medicine for pain,” the woman looks at Rafael and Sonny is about to say something. 

“Yes, I’m his husband, I got it,” Rafael says, taking the papers and signing them.  
Sonny wants to argue.

They leave without another word shared, “Can I just ask, where are you going?” 

“I promised to see a little girl,” 

Sonny walks into the room and sees all the little girls and boys who were in those cages last night, he’s taken aback to see them laughing. Even after the horrors they endured. The kids aged from six to twelve, and yet, at least on the surface, they look at peace. 

“Sonny!” a girl yells, and it’s the one he saved last night.

He bends down and opens his arms, “Lucy!” the girl hugs him tight. 

“You came and visited me!” she says once she pulls away. 

“Of course I did, kiddo, I told you I would,” Sonny ruffles her black hair and the girl beams. 

The girl tugs at his arm and pulls him towards the crowd of kids, Sonny grunts in pain, “Are you okay, Sonny?” 

“Yeah, yeah, just a bit sore, where are we going?” 

“I was hoping you can stay for a bit? If you have a moment?” 

Sonny can’t find it in himself to say no, so he agrees. He sits in a chair that’s way too small for him but makes do. She pulls out a toy set of a kettle and teacups. 

“For you!” she says, pouring the make-believe liquid in his cup. “Remember the pinkies!” 

Sonny laughs and raises his pinky before taking a sip, “Absolutely delicious, you need to tell me your secret,” 

The girl just giggles. She’s about eight but her deprived body makes her small. 

“Lucy, how are you holding up?” he asks, genuinely surprised with the condition of the little girl and many others he sees. 

“I’m okay because I’m alive,” she says, she smiles and shows her teeth, Sonny can see a few are missing. “And, I’m with family,” she says and points to the other kids.  


Sonny can’t believe the lesson he learned from an eight-year-old. 

“Sonny do you have a family?” she asks, pointing at his ring. His ring. Sonny’s most beloved item. 

Sonny nods, “Yeah, I do,” he smiles at the girl and plays with his ring. “He was pretty worried about me last night and we both acted out of hand,” 

“Did you apologize? That’s what Marcy made us do when one of us gets into an argument with someone else,” Marcy’s one of the oldest kids they found, she was kinda like a mother to them. 

“He did, I didn’t,” Sonny admits, ashamed. 

“Maybe you should! And then you can hug!” she hums a song in her head, “Everybody deserves a hug,” 

“Yeah, I think you’re right Lucy,” 

Sonny leaves the girl twenty minutes later but he promises to visit again soon.  


It was a long shot but Sonny is surprised when he finds Rafael in their shared home, “Rafi-” 

“Shh,” Rafael takes his hand and pulls Sonny towards the couch, Sonny compiles but sits in confusion as Rafael straddles his lap. But it isn’t like their usual teasing foreplay. It’s more emotional, soft. 

Rafael places a kiss on Sonny’s forehead and takes his hand, placing it on his heart.

_“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay, oh, I believe in yesterday,”_

It’s different than all the times Sonny has asked Rafael to sing, it’s sad, a bit broken. 

_“Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be. There's a shadow hanging over me, oh, yesterday came suddenly,”_

Rafael looks up at Sonny and Sonny can see the tears in the man’s eyes and his Catholic guilt beats him up in more ways than one. 

_“Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say. I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday,”_

Sonny feels a wetness roll down his cheek and everything from yesterday and all piles onto him. How harsh he was to Rafael at the hospital, how he couldn’t see how much Rafael cared, how much he worried. Five years with the man and he didn’t see that his wit hid his  
concern.

_“Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play,”_

Rafael wipes the stray tear on Sonny’s face, placing a gentle kiss in its wake. 

_“Now I need a place to hide away, oh, I believe in yesterday,”_

They sit there in silence, just feeling the moment. 

“I love you,” Sonny says breathlessly, he kisses Rafael on the lips, “I’m so sorry, you had a right to yell, I was careless, you were just scared and when you tried to apologize I shut you down,” 

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have done that in front of the squad, I’m sorry,” 

Sonny nods and they just sit there and holds each other, the quiet is nice. 

“What made you come back?” Rafael asked, his head taken residence on Sonny’s chest. 

“The little girl, they were all so happy when I went there,” 

Rafael’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion and he looks up at Sonny. 

“They were happy?” 

“Yeah, I was surprised too, and she told me it was because she was alive and with family,” 

Rafael nods but stays quiet afterward and they sit there. Rafael hums softly and Sonny falls asleep to it.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs used.  
> Hey Jude- The Beatles  
> Eye of the Tiger- Survivor  
> Can't Help Falling In Love- Elvis Presley  
> Creep- Radiohead  
> Wonderwall- Oasis  
> Yesterday- The Beatles 
> 
> I lowkey love this and fight me sonny carisi knows Italian. 
> 
> Tumblr - Sincerely-leahh 
> 
> I hope someone enjoys this. 
> 
> -Leah


End file.
